The Butterocks

Part of our PreK curriculum is a third-party resource that comes to teach students about safe touch, body parts, etc.

We have always used more scientific terms with our children when discussing body parts, which is also what this program recommends.  So, Higdon has been using the word penis for a few years now, but just recently learned “buttocks” instead of “butt”.

Recently we dropped Emma at swim team practice and needed to stop by my classroom.  I told the boys that I would park in the alley, so they could stay in the car and feel safe.

“What’s an alley?” Higdon asked

“It’s like a road, but more private,” I replied

He continued to talk, and Aedan was in the backseat with him talking, and it was one of those conversations where I was trying to pay attention to traffic or a radio program, and absentmindedly answered with agreeable grunts and nods.

“Mom!” Aedan interrupted, “You just told Higdon that the alley is the buttocks of Monticello!”

“What?!? I did not…I must not have heard what you were saying.  Say it again, Higgy.  Please?”

Even though it was too dark to see him in my mirror, I knew his arms were folded across his chest, bottom lip wobbly and protruded, and head turned toward the window.  This one always wants to be heard the first time he talks – he does not like to repeat himself.

He draws a big breath.

“Mom!” Higdon persisted, “I asked you a question!  I said, is it like the butterocks or the penis of Monticello?  You said yes.”

“What?!? I did not!  Why does anything have to be the butt or penis of Monticello?” I asked, confused and finally pulling into the alley.

“Well, you said that an alley was private.  And butterocks (that’s really how he says it) and penises are private.  So, I wanted to know if an alley is more like a butterocks or a penis of Monticello.”

“Neither, buddy.  It’s a road.  But it’s private because only people that live on the road or work on the road use it – it’s not a road for everyone.  That’s why it is private.”

“Oh.  So that’s what an alley is?”

“Yep.  We are parked on one right now.”

“Oh.”